Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mode : Dilemma

Morning!!!!
harini cuaca pagi-pagi lagi dah gloomy macam nak ujan je..same as my mood today..kiranya arini perasaan berkecamuk gundah gulana...macam mana nak cite ek..sebenarnya i xpenah nak cite my personal life or lebih tepat lagi my love life to strangers...melainkan my best friends or someone that i really trust..but i think i couldn't cope with it anymore..everytime anywhere n everywhere i kept thinking of HIM..that refers to my EX..yup some would say i'm pathetic but believe me perkara inilah yang menjadikan i felt soo sad..menangis la,feel soo lonely since last year.. honestly i really can't understand why he done this to me..in this situation maybe both of us ada salah masing-masing..nobody to be blame..even xsampai seminggu clash DIA dah couple dengan orang lain..someone yang i xpenah suka,gedix.. dia claimed that i have somebody else but secara logik nya or common sense, u all pikirla sendiri..for me DIA sangat baik..(orang selalu ckp i selalu bela dia eventho dia buat salah yang pdan muka sendiri) well that's love..coz i really L**E him very much..until today..yes his my 1st bf..and 1st guy yang berjaya membuat hati saya gembira n being me yang jarang ada male friends yang rapat..his the only one..cum my best friend for me..dia i don't know..his good looking n ramai peminat plus ramai kawan perempuan..we dah kenal lama since 1st year lagi..so i know him inside out..tp masa tu kawan sahaja until after graduated..baru dia confess..i was really happy that time..knowing DIA very popular person, i have to admit it's hard to be with someone like that..u know la kan i ni xcntik n so on compared to other gurls..i sedar diri ok..plus wanted to be sporting gf n kind just to make him happy.. banyak la suka duka yang i lalui dalam masa kami in relationship..yang xleh lupe masa awal-awal couple..almost a year i xsenang hati disebabkan oleh segelintir manusia yang dengki melihat kami happy..but i managed to get thru all dengan tenang..i just xpaham napa dia buat i macam ni..kami ..hurmm dunno what to say, stepping forward together in everything..be it dalam career or others..dia banyak ajar i pasal what is love..i kan dulu seorang yang hati kering..seseorang yang sukar untuk menangis..DIA telah menjadikan i seseorang yang sensitif..yes kalo nak ingat-ingat banyak la our memories together..miss all those moments..
but now everything had changed..he didn't need me anymore plus agaknya his more happier with his life with that gurl..but deep down inside my heart..i will n still remember him as my best friend ever and someone that i l**e ..and hopefully he will remember me too..i selalu ingat kan diri supaya jangan terlalu berharap sangat nti makan hati..tp what should i do????sob..sob..sob
i think my life must go on, now i might be having someone who really understand n appreciate me more..who is very kind to me..i should not neglect and must appreciate more..like orang tua-tua cakap 'Gajah depan mata tak nampak tapi kuman seberang laut yang nampak jelas'..memang itu lumrah manusia kan.. now i have to buka mata besar-besar and see what are the opportunities coming for me..panjang lagi perjalanan kan..if DIA boleh happy, kenapa i xboleh kan ...is it true??? but i still feel the same..huhuhu mybe it takes some time to heal my wound..i rasa seperti di dalam dilemma yang tak berkesudahan :(


note : semasa entry ini ditulis, air mata bergenang..sob sob sob

3 comments:

reena said...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe

yaNa MaLeK said...

reena : after bace u punye entry aritu..i believe it's true what marilyn monroe to quote..everything happens for a reason :p

FaRaH said...

hye yana..kte da sign up juz 4 leave sum cmment here..as ur best fren & people who knows from the begin till da end..kte hope awk dpt lupe kan dia...jd kan sbg 1 pngalaman..pngalaman wat kte lbih mtg + bnyk yg kte dpt blaja..plz appreciate org yg btol2 pndai appreciate awk..Allah da ttap kan setiap org jodoh msg2..kdg2 kte t'pk btol ke org tu is da besh..mr rite yg dpt syg+jaga kte 4 da entire of our life..jodoh kte adalah yg terbaek utk kte..sbb tu Allah da atur satu persatu dgn baek..learn how to forget him..evn hardly to do it..Jgn hidup dlam kenangan..